Recently, my husband had surgery on his knee. This was the first time I was sitting in the waiting room for my husband. I was able to adjust my schedule to be present in the office visit before surgery, where the risks and benefits were discussed. I was then able to take the day off the day of his surgery to be present before, during, and after the surgery and be home to take care of him the following day. Truthfully, everything about the experience so far has been handled amazingly. His team did a great job and clearly had it down to a science. Everything went as well as it possibly could. Through this, I have reflected on a few truths about medicine - both experiencing it and working in it.
The first truth is that medicine is hard for patients and we should choose to have patience. This is of course not a surprise. We went home with 6 medications, an ice machine, bandages, and visits already scheduled. Despite all of this and us both having high health literacy, the verbal and written instructions, the post operative instructions were still confusing. For a patient who had a support person unable to be present for discharge instructions and/or without a good knowledge of medicine - this would have been much more complicated. This experience highlighted for me that even the most motivated patient can struggle with the complex requests we make of them to care for themselves. Even the best counseling does not fully prepare patients and their loved ones for the worse of what they can expect. So we need to remember that medicine is hard and we should remember to have patience for our patients. With this patience comes more empathy which can help bring back the joy.
The second truth is that when choosing our roles in medicine, we can choose to prioritize the things we value to maintain balance in our lives. Not all roles in medicine are flexible. I happen to have a role with administrative time that allows me at times to adjust my schedule. This is something that I currently hold as a true priority - the ability to have some flexibility in my schedule. When I have evaluated transitions in my career, I focused on the importance of flexibility. The reason I value flexibility is my family. With school age children, I do not want to bemoan missing my children’s events. I am not at every single event, though flexibility in my schedule has allowed me to present at more of the events than a typical clinical schedule allows. My flexibility does mean that I choose to work more weekends and evenings than some of my colleagues, and this has been a valuable trade off for me. In this case, it meant I was able to be present with my husband as he made the decision with his physician to proceed to surgery and was able to better support him the day of surgery, and during his postoperative period. Others may value having off the same days as their partner, being done by the time that their children are done from school, or having a significant amount of vacation time. But we can all choose what we value in order to provide the balance.
The most important truth is that community and support matters. The community I have to support me at work meant that it was okay for me to schedule the time off. I was not worried about my patients not being cared for or my administrative tasks not being taken care of. I was able to delegate some items and ensure that I had coverage for anything urgent. This is something that I have not been good at throughout my career - I have had to truly work at this. This was different from individuals caring only about clocking in and clocking out. We show up for the profession that has meaning to us while supporting each other as life happens. I was so thankful to receive the messages from my colleagues and trainees while waiting for my husband’s surgery to finish. The community that lifts you up can help through the hard times and the good times. They can be grounding and bring joy into the challenging days we all face.
All in all, this experience was as smooth as it could have been. I am grateful that I was able to reflect on the importance of having patience, choosing to prioritize my own values to bring balance, and having the support of an amazing community.
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