Reclaiming October

Why I Chose This Month to Launch The Hidden Load Podcast

Some months hold stories we’d rather not revisit. They carry memories that linger — of loss, of exhaustion, of moments that quietly reshaped who we are.For years, October was that month for me.

As someone who helps others move from burnout to balance, I spend a lot of time talking about what we carry — the visible responsibilities and the invisible emotional weight beneath them. But even those of us who teach these tools still have our own hidden loads. And this month, I’m sharing one of mine — and why it led me to launch something deeply personal: The Hidden Load Podcast.

When October Became Heavy

Have you ever noticed a pattern in your life — a certain time, place, or season that always seemed to bring difficulty? For me, that pattern was October.

When I was 13, October was the month I lost my aunt — the woman who helped raise me alongside my mom. I called her TwoMama. She was loving, steady, funny, and deeply woven into who I was becoming. Losing her at that age changed the shape of my world.

Two years later, my grandfather died — also in October.I began to feel like the month itself was cursed.

Even in years when nothing “bad” happened, I still braced myself as the calendar turned. October carried emotional muscle memory — a quiet tightening in my chest, a readiness for loss. And it didn’t help that it’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the disease that took my aunt’s life.

Every pink ribbon, every charity run, every well-meaning commercial brought both pride and pain. It was a reminder of everything she meant to me, and everything I couldn’t get back.

Trying to Reclaim October

Over the years, I tried to reclaim October through action.I joined the walks, volunteered at events, raised money for research, and even ran a marathon for breast cancer awareness.

Each year, I hoped the effort would somehow balance the weight — that giving back might help me rewrite the story.

And for a while, it did.Until life added another layer. Years later, my husband lost his father — in October.

Suddenly, the heaviness returned. We both found ourselves dreading the month. Even when it wasn’t about personal loss, it was about reminders — of grief, of fatigue, of how fragile everything can feel.

Time to reflect & reclaim

Deciding to Reclaim It — Again

But recently, I decided to change my relationship with October again — not by running from the memories, but by transforming what the month means to me.

This time, I didn’t want to fight the weight or hide from it.I wanted to name it, share it, and invite others to do the same.

Because here’s what I’ve learned, both personally and professionally: we all carry something unseen.

We carry grief, guilt, and the pressure to be “okay.”We carry the invisible labor of caring for others — as clinicians, parents, partners, and friends.And most of the time, we carry it alone.

That’s the heart of The Hidden Load.

Why The Hidden Load Podcast Exists

I launched The Hidden Load Podcast this October because I want to start more honest conversations about what we carry beneath the surface — especially in healthcare.

So many of us are doing meaningful, purpose-driven work, yet we’re exhausted. We tell ourselves it’s normal because it’s common.But common and normal aren’t the same thing.

That’s why the very first episode is called “Common, Yes. Normal, No.” In it, I talk about how the hidden load shows up — the mental and emotional weight we feel but rarely name — and what happens when we start to bring it into the open.

My hope for this podcast is simple: That it helps people feel a little less alone.That it reminds us that the feelings we often hide are shared by so many others. And that it offers both reflection and practical strategies to lighten the load — together.

How Sharing Our Stories Changes Everything

When we talk about burnout, loss, and balance, it’s easy to focus on systems and schedules — but the real healing begins in the stories.

When I’ve spoken with colleagues, patients, and coaching clients, I’m struck by how many are carrying their own version of October — a season, a story, or a silence that weighs heavily but goes unspoken.

It’s not just grief. It’s the shoulds that drive our days:“I should be handling this better.”“I should be grateful.”“I should be able to keep going.”

We convince ourselves we’re the only ones struggling, when in reality, these feelings are woven through our profession and our humanity.

By sharing our stories, we normalize the conversation — not the suffering.We make space for healing.We remind each other that vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s connection.

A Personal Invitation

Launching this podcast in October feels like closing one chapter and opening another. It’s a way to reclaim a month that once symbolized loss and turn it into one of reflection, purpose, and connection.

And I’d love for you to be part of it.

🎧 Listen to The Hidden Load Podcast — the first three episodes are out now wherever you listen.

💬 Join the conversation:Tell me what topics you’d like to hear more about.Share your own hidden load — the thing you carry quietly but are ready to name. Or reach out if you’d like to be a guest on the show.

And because this launch means so much to me — and to the message behind it — I’m celebrating with a Launch Week Giveaway.

💥 How to Enter:

1️⃣ Listen to The Hidden Load Podcast

2️⃣ Leave a review on your favorite platform

3️⃣ Tag me in a post or story showing you did

You’ll be entered to win a free 1:1 coaching session with me — a space to reflect, reset, and find your path forward with more clarity and calm.

Reclaiming October — and Ourselves

For years, I thought October was the month that took from me.But this year, it’s the month I decided to give something back — not just to my memories, but to others who are carrying their own quiet weight.

Maybe that’s the real lesson: that healing doesn’t always mean forgetting or moving on. Sometimes it means transforming pain into purpose — and creating space for others to do the same.

So this October, I’m reclaiming the month that once felt heavy.And I’m inviting you to reclaim whatever feels heavy for you, too.

Because we don’t have to carry the hidden load alone anymore.

🎧 Listen to The Hidden Load Podcast