The Weekend I Never Work—Part II
- Santina Wheat
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
A year ago, I wrote a blog post called This is the Weekend I Don't Work
That title is still true.
There is one weekend every year that I do not schedule shifts, pick up coverage, or convince myself that I can push through “just this once.”
That boundary exists because of what that weekend holds.
Years ago—long before I ever wrote about it—I was working multiple shifts during that same weekend. I ended those shifts by rushing my mother to the hospital after she had a stroke. Within a short period of time, I was helping make the decision to move her into hospice.
Not long after, she died.
That was 2019.
It’s now 2026.
And as this weekend comes around again, I’m realizing that the lessons from that time are still unfolding—just in quieter, more unexpected ways.
A Conversation That Caught Me Off Guard
Recently, I had a conversation with my oldest daughter that stopped me in my tracks.
Like many moms—especially moms of daughters—I carry this background worry that one day my kids will hate me. I assume there’s a season coming where everything I do is wrong, where I’m too much or not enough.
So I try to soak up the closeness now.
Not long ago, my daughter casually told me, “You’re less annoying now than you used to be.”
I laughed. Internally, I took the win.
At first, I assumed this was about her—that she had matured, become more tolerant, more independent.
But later, on a trip, as we were walking side by side, she said something else.
She told me she finds me less annoying than some of her friends find their parents.
That made me pause.
So I asked the question I hadn’t expected to ask: When was I more annoying?
Her answer surprised me because it wasn't the general time period she gave me before.
It wasn’t when she was being the more crany version of herself. It wasn’t during the phase I would have predicted.
It was when I was unhappy.
It was when I was miserable at work.
I t was when burnout had taken over more of my life than I realized.
And suddenly, everything made sense.
When Burnout Doesn’t Stay at Work
In that moment, I had a clear, uncomfortable realization.
It wasn’t that I was doing something wrong as a parent.It was that I was deeply unhappy—and that unhappiness came home with me.
I named it out loud.
“Oh. Yeah. I was really unhappy then. I’m sorry that came home.”
This is something we don’t talk about enough in healthcare.
Burnout doesn’t stay contained at work. It shows up in our tone, our patience, our presence.
Our kids feel it. Our partners feel it. Our teams feel it.
Even when we think we’re hiding it well.
And often, we don’t notice how misaligned things have become until someone we love reflects it back to us.
This is exactly why I believe short, intentional pauses matter—moments to check in with ourselves before burnout fully reshapes how we show up.
The Questions That Followed Loss—and Then Burnout
After my mom died in 2019, my focus narrowed in a very specific way.
How do I stay healthy enough to not leave my girls behind at a young age?
That question shaped everything for a long time.
As I slowly came out of burnout, another question emerged:
What is my purpose now?How do I live in a way that honors my mom?What legacy will I leave behind?
Those questions mattered—and they still do.
But as time has passed, another layer has come into focus.
How do I pursue growth without losing presence?How do I build a meaningful life and career while staying connected as a mom, partner, friend, and leader?How do I keep healing without turning self-improvement into another exhausting job?
What Growth Looks Like for Me Now
I no longer believe in radical overhauls.
I believe in becoming one percentage better—over days, months, seasons, and years.
That belief is what led me to create tools that don’t demand a full reset, but instead help you notice what’s quietly off before it spills into everything else.
Right now, growth for me looks like this:
I name my capacity honestly.I share what’s going on in my life so people know what to expect. I stop pretending I have unlimited energy or emotional space.
I invest in relationships in ways that matter to the other person.Not just efficient time. Not just proximity. Real connection, defined by what they need.
I allow the people around me to change.My kids need different things from me now than they did before. So do my colleagues. So do I.
I protect the habits that are working.When life gets busy—or better—it’s tempting to loosen boundaries and give back hard-won space. I’m learning not to abandon what helped me heal.
Why I Still Don’t Work This Weekend
This weekend still matters to me.
Not because I want to relive the hardest moments of my life—but because it reminds me what happens when we ignore grief, limits, and humanity for too long.
It reminds me why I don’t work this weekend. Why I talk openly about burnout. Why I model boundaries for my kids, my learners, and the healthcare professionals I work with.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
Sometimes it means choosing—again and again—to live differently.
If this reflection resonates—if you’re sensing that something feels slightly off, even if you can’t fully name it yet—I created a simple place to start.
The 15-Minute Alignment Check is a self-directed workbook designed to help healthcare professionals pause, reflect, and identify one grounded shift that could make a meaningful difference right now.
It’s not a coaching call. Just a focused tool you can complete on your own, on your own time.
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