Earlier this year, I realized that it was two days until Valentine’s Day and I wasn’t sure if my children wanted to hand out cards or treats in their classrooms. So when I realized that we were this close, I asked my girls if they were interested in handing out anything. My oldest essentially rolled her eyes and said she was too old. Because I was looking particularly harried, my daughter was a bit nervous to say yes, but ultimately said she wanted to hand out cards, but not treats because she was worried about not being healthy.
So, we went to the pharmacy because I had to pick up medication from the pharmacy and went into the aisle for the Valentine’s Day cards. There were not many options and my daughter was quite disappointed in her options…….going as far as to say that they were cringey. Ultimately, she decided that she would give them more pizazz and sparkle and would be okay with one of the options that she found. The next day, my daughter spent a lot of time personalizing these cards. She added sparkle and color to the cards then placed them in individual envelopes. After placing them in the envelopes, she took the time to find a sticker for the first letter of the first name of each classmate. She did not have a sticker for each letter and so had to make her own for some letters.
The next day was Valentine’s Day and first thing in the morning my daughter proudly packed most of the cards in her backpack. She then handed one to my husband, her sister, and me. The one that surprised me the most was she presented one to herself. Her sticker was a letter that was missing and required her to create her own. She opened her own card and smiled. The card says “You are magical.”
My initial thought was, why would she do that? Then I reframed and asked myself- why don’t we all do that? My initial hesitation was that there is an interesting dance between instilling self-confidence and maintaining humility. However, this is a little different. She was giving herself an affirmation. She also wasn’t waiting for anyone else to show her love or lift her up.
It was not until recently that I had my own affirmation. My affirmation is simple - “I can do hard things and I have done hard things.” Although I wish I could say that this is something I had always done, it is only for the past few years that I have truly used an affirmation - and when I started doing it, I didn’t know what I was doing. Prior to using this affirmation, I thought I have to work harder, or am I working hard enough. I will say that when I shifted what I was saying to myself, I felt better. It was a reframe of my mindset. It was a subtle shift from ‘I have to work harder’ to ‘I can be successful in the face of hard things’. I started to say my affirmation when I was exercising, when I received bad news, when I had a new opportunity, or when anything just seemed hard.
The part I have come to learn is that we should be lifting ourselves up. We can all use affirmations to support positive mindsets. If this is not part of everyday thoughts, it can take a while to find an affirmation that is meaningful for you. It also takes a shift to use it consistently.
To take the lessons from my daughter, it is important to: 1) provide love to yourself without waiting for others and 2) find affirmations for yourself that will support you.
What is your affirmation?
Maybe start by telling yourself, “You are magical”
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