Back-to-School: Why a Little Structure Makes Home and Work Feel Easier

As a busy physician, I talk a lot about what I do at work to make life more fulfilling and joyful. But the truth is, my happiness isn’t just shaped by what happens in the hospital or clinic.

It’s also shaped by what’s happening at home.

And right now, as my children are getting ready to go back to school, I’m realizing how much our home rhythms impact my energy, patience, and ability to show up fully—both at home and at work.

Why Summer Feels Harder Than It Looks

If you asked my kids, summer is “fun but too short.” If you asked my husband and me? We’d tell you it’s wonderful but exhausting.

Here’s the thing: summer has less structure. The girls’ schedules start later, they’re home more, and they naturally want more of our attention. The challenge is that while they want more time with us, we can’t always be present in the way they want.

It’s not that we’re less available than during the school year—it’s just more obvious to them now. Without the rhythm of school and activities, they see the gaps more.

During the school year, there’s a bit of “out of sight, out of mind” at play—they’re busy with school and dance, and our time together has a predictable flow. In summer, the unpredictability makes us all a little more frustrated.

Ready to go back to school

The Power of Boundaries at Home

I talk a lot about boundaries in the workplace, but they’re just as important at home.

I’m honest with my girls when I’ve had a hard day and need a few minutes to decompress before diving into their stories. They know that sometimes my brain isn’t ready to switch from “doctor mode” to “mom mode” instantly.

We’ve even talked about overstimulation—how I can love being with them and still need a quieter kind of togetherness. Sometimes, being “present” means sitting on the couch together without talking for a few minutes until my nervous system catches up.

These small conversations have helped them understand that it’s not about me wanting distance—it’s about me wanting to show up for them fully when I do engage.

Why Structure Helps Reduce Stress

During the school year, the decision fatigue eases:

• Breakfast is predictable—fewer “what should we eat?” debates.

• Lunch is streamlined—they either pack or buy it at school.

• Dinner happens between work and dance schedules, which means less time to overthink and more time to just eat and connect.

And weekends? They feel more precious. Instead of trying to squeeze quality time into random snippets during the week, we can truly focus on it when we’re off.

The Neuroscience Behind This

After a day of clinical work, your brain is often running on fumes. Decision-making, problem-solving, and emotional regulation all use executive function—a mental resource that isn’t infinite.

When we get home, if we face another 20 or 30 small, seemingly insignificant decisions (What’s for dinner? Can we do a playdate? Where’s my dance uniform?), our mental energy drains even faster. That’s why structure feels so relieving—it removes dozens of tiny decisions from our plate, allowing more energy for meaningful connection.

Making Space for the Unpredictable

Here’s the caveat: structure can’t become so rigid that there’s no room for life to happen.

In medicine, we expect the unexpected—illnesses, setbacks, frustrations. Home is no different. The most supportive routines are the ones that leave breathing room for spontaneity, for the “yes” moments when a child wants to show you something right now, for a spontaneous ice cream run after dinner, or for dropping the plan when someone needs extra comfort.

Some of the most joyful moments at home happen when we step outside the schedule on purpose. A strong structure isn’t meant to block those moments—it’s meant to give us enough stability that we can be flexible without feeling chaotic.

Three Small Ways to Protect Your Home Energy

1. Have a transition ritual.

On the way home, give yourself a mental buffer—drive in silence, take a short walk, or change clothes immediately upon arriving.

2. Set a “first 15 minutes” boundary.

Tell your family you need a few minutes before taking on requests or questions. This isn’t distance—it’s setting yourself up to be more present.

3. Pre-decide low-stakes things.

Plan simple weekly breakfast and dinner rotations. Have a set laundry day. Make school supply restocking a monthly calendar item instead of a last-minute scramble.

The Bottom Line

The same strategies we use to protect our time and energy at work—boundaries, routines, and clear communication—are just as powerful at home.

When home feels calmer, work often feels easier too. And when your routines leave space

for connection, rest, and play, both worlds become more joyful.

If you’re ready to start setting healthier boundaries both at work and at home, I invite you to join my Free 7-Day Boundaries Challenge. You’ll get daily, practical steps to protect your energy without guilt—so you can be present for the people and work that matter most.

👉 Join the 7-Day Boundaries Challenge here