Saturday was supposed to be a fun, light-hearted day spent with my family. We had plans to relax, enjoy each other’s company, and create memories. We have one full day off together per week and had a minute of family tradition and some one on one
time. But instead, life threw a wrench in our plans—a car accident. Thankfully, everyone is okay, but it was a reminder that even when we have the best intentions and make all the right plans, sometimes things just don’t go the way we hope.
This situation left me reflecting on how often life can derail us, especially when we feel like we’re finally gaining momentum. It’s not just the big things like accidents or major life events, but also the smaller, everyday frustrations that can make us feel like we’re losing control. As healthcare workers, many of us are all too familiar with that feeling. We try to juggle the demands of our careers, personal lives, and the responsibilities that come with both, often at the expense of our own well-being. And just when we think we have it all under control, something—big or small—can knock us off balance.
When Things Don’t Go as Planned
I’m a planner. I like to know what’s coming next, and I thrive on creating structure and finding balance. But one thing I’ve learned, both personally and as a career and life coach, is that flexibility is key. No matter how much we plan, life doesn’t always stick to the script. It’s in these moments that we have a choice: to feel defeated or to give ourselves grace.
On the surface, it’s easy to say, “Just go with the flow,” but it’s harder to put into practice. That disappointment we feel when plans go awry is real, and it’s okay to acknowledge it. We all need to honor those emotions. The important part is not staying stuck in them.
When the Unexpected Ripple Effects Hit
When life throws an unexpected wrench in our plans, it’s not just that day that’s affected. These disruptions often have ripple effects, adding challenges beyond the immediate moment. In my case, the accident didn’t just impact the fun family day we had planned. There were other consequences to deal with—getting the car towed, dealing with insurance, arranging alternative transportation, and managing the emotions of family members who had been looking forward to the day.
For healthcare workers, the effects of an unexpected disruption can be even more profound. An emergency shift at work or a personal setback can spill over into multiple areas of life. You might find yourself struggling to catch up on missed tasks or having to reschedule important commitments. In some cases, it can feel like a single disruption is enough to send everything spiraling, adding extra layers of stress to an already heavy load.
When these challenges compound, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. That’s why it’s so important to create space for yourself to process and adjust.
Giving Yourself Grace
In the face of the unexpected, grace becomes a necessity, not a luxury. We need to be kind to ourselves, understanding that perfection is not the goal. Life is unpredictable, and while we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we respond to it. We can choose to reframe the situation and look at what can be learned or gained.
For example, although today wasn’t what I had planned, I’m grateful that we all came out of the accident safe. It’s an opportunity to slow down, reassess, and remind myself of what really matters—our health, safety, and connection as a family. Yes, there are logistical challenges to deal with in the days ahead, but by taking one thing at a time and focusing on what’s within my control, I can minimize the overwhelm.
Lessons for Healthcare Workers
Healthcare workers, particularly those experiencing or nearing burnout, often feel like they have to have everything figured out. When things go wrong, it can feel like just another burden to carry. But it’s crucial to remember that resilience isn’t about avoiding life’s challenges—it’s about bouncing back from them. When things get derailed, how do you treat yourself? Do you give yourself room to breathe, reflect, and adjust, or do you add it to your growing pile of frustrations?
Here are a few strategies I recommend to when life doesn’t go as planned:
1. Acknowledge the frustration – It’s okay to feel disappointed or upset. Don’t brush those feelings under the rug. Name them, sit with them briefly, and then let them go.
2. Reframe the situation – Shift your perspective. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, look for the silver lining or the lesson. This can help you regain a sense of control.
3. Lean on your support system – Whether it’s your family, friends, or colleagues, talk about what happened. Sometimes, simply sharing can make the load feel lighter.
4. Focus on what you can control – When life feels unpredictable, try to zero in on the things you can control. Maybe it’s your next action step, your attitude, or simply how you’re going to spend the rest of the day.
5. Practice self-compassion – Be kind to yourself. Remember that life’s detours don’t define your worth or your progress. Allow yourself to feel and then reset with kindness.
Final Thoughts
Today was a reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned—and that’s okay. Whether it’s a car accident, a last-minute work shift, or simply feeling overwhelmed, there will always be moments that challenge us. The key is to find grace in those moments, to remember that balance and joy are not lost, they’re just waiting for you to refocus.
For all my fellow healthcare workers out there: give yourself permission to feel, to adjust, and to keep moving forward, even if it’s in a different direction than you originally intended. Remember, the challenges don’t stop at the initial disruption—they can extend into the days and weeks that follow. But with grace, resilience, and self-compassion, you can handle whatever comes your way.
Have you experienced a recent derailment in your life or career? How did you handle it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
If you would like support in finding out how you can have more joy in your life, schedule a call!
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