Chaos to Calm: A Valentine’s Day Love Letter to Yourself
- Santina Wheat
- Feb 8
- 3 min read
Valentine’s Day is often thought of as a day to celebrate love—the love we have for our partners, our friends, and our family. But in the midst of showering others with affection, how often do we stop to consider the most important relationship of all: the one we have with ourselves?
For many of us, especially those in healthcare, prioritizing ourselves feels unnatural, even selfish. Our work is rooted in service, in giving, in taking care of others. But what I’ve learned on my own journey from chaos to calm is that truly loving yourself is not selfish—it is necessary. And it is one of the hardest lessons I had to learn.
The Challenge of Prioritizing Yourself
Like so many in healthcare, I used to believe that my needs should always come last. My family, my patients, my responsibilities—everything and everyone took priority over me. I thought that was what made me a good doctor, a good mother, a good wife. But in reality, it was a fast track to burnout.
Loving yourself means recognizing that you, too, are worthy of care. It means setting boundaries, delegating responsibilities, and making time for self-care—not as a luxury, but as a necessity. It’s about learning to ride the busyness of life with a sense of calm, rather than letting the chaos consume you.
How Do You Show Yourself Love?
Loving yourself isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about the small, daily rituals that help you feel grounded and whole. It’s about paying attention to the signs that chaos is creeping in and taking action before it takes over. Here’s how I’ve learned to show myself love:
Finding the Rituals That Work for MeI’ve discovered that reading, being crafty, and working out are essential to my well-being. These rituals help me recharge and reconnect with myself, and I prioritize them just as I would any other important commitment.
Checking In With Myself RegularlyLife is constantly shifting, and what worked last month may not work today. I’ve learned to pause and ask myself: Are my actions aligning with my priorities? Am I making time for what truly matters? If the answer is no, I know it’s time to reset.
Making Time for What Fulfills MeSpending quality time with each of my daughters and my husband is a non-negotiable for me. I also carve out space for the workshop projects that bring me joy. These aren’t just hobbies—they are acts of self-love, reminders that my happiness matters, too.
Honoring My Basic NeedsSleep is not optional. Neither is rest. Neither is giving myself permission to pause when I need to. I’ve learned that if I don’t proactively create space for these things, my body will eventually force me to slow down in far less pleasant ways.
The Power of Choosing Yourself
It took me a long time to understand that prioritizing myself wasn’t about taking away from others—it was about ensuring I had the capacity to give in a sustainable way. When I take care of myself, I show up as a better physician, a better coach, a better mother, a better partner.
So as you celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, I invite you to turn some of that love inward. Ask yourself: How do I show myself love? Where am I neglecting my own needs? What small steps can I take to nurture my relationship with myself?
Because at the end of the day, the most enduring love story you will ever have is the one you write with yourself. And that love is worth celebrating—not just on Valentine’s Day, but every single day.
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