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Why I Was Skeptical About Coaching—and How It Changed My Perspective

Writer's picture: Santina WheatSantina Wheat

When I first heard about coaching as a tool to find more fulfillment in my career—or in anyone’s career, for that matter—I’ll admit my immediate reaction was skepticism. I rolled my eyes at the idea because, honestly, it just sounded too idealistic. The whole notion of coaching felt like it was built for people who walked around smiling all the time, perpetually optimistic and endlessly cheerful. That was never me.



I’ve always considered myself a realist. I wasn’t interested in pretending to be happy all the time or adopting a sunny disposition that didn’t feel authentic. Life is hard, work is demanding, and not every moment is joyful. For years, I assumed that some people are naturally happy, while others—like me—are simply wired to be more serious. But what I didn’t understand then was that fulfillment, balance, and joy don’t require constant happiness or a permanent smile.


It Took Some Convincing


My journey to embracing coaching wasn’t an overnight transformation—it started with understanding the evidence. I began to notice that coaching wasn’t just a feel-good trend; it was a tool many successful professionals relied on. Executives had been receiving coaching for years, and as I participated in different trainings and fellowships, I realized that many mentors were already using aspects of coaching in their work.


Still, I wasn’t entirely sold. What ultimately pushed me to try coaching was my team. As a leader, I wanted to model behaviors that could help us all thrive. I thought, If coaching could help me support my team better, then it’s worth giving it a shot.


Was I convinced it would work? Not really. I went in cautiously optimistic at best, but I figured it was worth trying for their sake. And while coaching didn’t resonate with everyone on my team, it surprised me by making a significant impact on me.


By stepping into coaching for others, I inadvertently opened the door to growth for myself.


The Stone Façade


Looking back, I realize I had built a wall around my emotions, compartmentalizing everything to keep moving forward. I wasn’t allowing myself to fully feel happy or sad—I was just holding everything up, bearing the weight of my responsibilities without letting my emotions show.


This “stone façade” earned me a lot of unsolicited comments over the years: “You need to smile more.” I’ve always hated those comments, and I still do. They’re often gendered and patronizing, dismissing the validity of a serious demeanor. But I also recognize that I wasn’t allowing people to see my full emotional range.

Person on a video call on a laptop with a notepad and pen, set on a blue table. The mood is focused, with a laptop displaying a woman's face.
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I’ve learned that smiling more isn’t about performing happiness for others; it’s about allowing myself to experience and express emotions authentically. Coaching helped me break down some of those walls and approach life with a mindset that embraces both the highs and the lows.


What Coaching Taught Me About Mindset


One of the biggest misconceptions I had about coaching was the idea that it was all about becoming happy. I thought it was about suppressing negative emotions and forcing positivity. But in reality, coaching taught me something completely different:

You don’t have to be happy all the time to live a joyful life.

You can acknowledge sadness and frustration without letting them take over.

Fulfillment comes from how you navigate challenges, not avoiding them.


Through coaching, I began to understand that I wasn’t processing my emotions in a healthy way. I wasn’t just serious—I was holding onto everything, bottling up my frustrations, disappointments, and even my moments of joy. I wasn’t dealing with my emotions; I was ignoring them.


Now, I approach my emotions differently. I give myself permission to feel sad or frustrated, but I don’t let those feelings linger indefinitely. I process them, learn from them, and move forward.


Coaching is Not Therapy—And That’s Okay


It’s important to note that coaching is not a substitute for therapy. Therapy and coaching are distinct, and both serve essential roles in supporting mental health and personal growth.


Therapy is focused on healing—working through past trauma, managing mental health conditions, and addressing deeply rooted emotional challenges. Coaching, on the other hand, is future-focused. It’s about setting goals, creating strategies, and helping you move toward the life you want to build.


Some people benefit from both therapy and coaching simultaneously, while others may need just one depending on their situation. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and recognizing when you need which type of support is a crucial part of self-awareness.


For me, coaching was the right step to address challenges in my mindset and professional life, but I will always advocate for the importance of therapy when it’s needed.


Why I Became a Coach


The benefits of coaching were so transformative for me that I wanted to share them with others. I believe in coaching so much that I became a coach myself.


My goal is to help healthcare professionals, especially those experiencing or nearing burnout, rediscover their purpose, increase balance, and find joy. I know what it’s like to be skeptical. I know what it’s like to think coaching is only for people who are naturally optimistic or endlessly cheerful. But I also know firsthand how powerful coaching can be when you’re ready to explore what’s possible.


If you’re a cynic like I was, I get it. That’s exactly why I might be able to help you. Coaching isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about helping you become the best version of yourself.


Let’s Connect


If you’re curious about coaching or wondering if it might be right for you, let’s talk. Schedule a call with me, and we can see if we’re a good match. Whether you’re looking for more balance, fulfillment, or joy, I’d love to help you take the next step toward the life you deserve. Schedule a free call with me today.


Because even if you’re skeptical, you might just find that coaching is exactly what you need.


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